This week the news and youtube has been alight the story of a 12 year old boy who tormented a somewhat husky 16 year old, punching him in the face and stomach and trying to grapple the kid. Whilst the much smaller kid is trying to throw the older boy around, there's a switch around and the bigger kid picks the little guy up, and slams the kid into the ground, leaving the younger boy seriously hurt, dazed and crying.
There are many issues involved here, but opinions seem to be almost universally in favour of the bigger kid, yet both boys were suspended from school, demonstrating yet again, that school justice is no justice whatsoever.
Any court in the World recognises a person's potential for reactive violence - that is to say, violence that is not premeditated, but is in response to a sudden emotional situation. Penalties are often lower, or non-existent. Any court in the world recognises a person's right to use reasonable force to defend himself, and except in the most ludicrous of judgements, the defender is not found guilty or liable for damages. Most courts even recognise that under duress, in the spur of the moment, a person cannot be expected to scientifically moderate the level of his response to a precise amount that is considered "reasonable" or "proportionate".
So if the most tested and carefully considered courts and legal systems in the world, what the hell is wrong with the school administrators that they suspend the victim as well as his younger tormentor?
I'll tell you what the problem is - laziness and woolly thinking by the schools. It all comes down to a pathetic, and unworkable concept called "Zero Tolerance". Zero tolerance is a principle that superficially sounds like a good idea, but in actuality, is ludicrous, and yet again, favours the bullies. The thinking behind zero tolerance runs thus: if we punish every incidence of violence, and always punish all involved parties, then we'll get rid of all that messy uncertainty about who the actual victims are, and everyone will be afraid to start trouble. That's like imprisoning the bank staff as well as the robbers after a bank robbery. Great idea Einsteins! That kind of thinking might be acceptable for Texas state governors, one of whom infamously once allegedly said that he'd sooner execute 9 innocent men than let 1 guilty one go free, but it's not the way that civilised people should do things. You only have to think for a nanosecond to see that it's bullshit. If bullies were afraid of punishment; if bullies played by the rules, they wouldn't be bullies in the first place most of the time. So the only people you catch are:
a: kids who want to fight each other
b: victims of bullying
To be honest, if two kids want to fight each other, they'll find a way, and sometimes it might even be a way to resolve the situation. Perhaps what the schools ought to do is provide them with boxing gloves, an empty gym (no spectators thanks), a referee, make sure it's safe and let them go for it. That way they can be sure that both parties actually want to be in the fight, and that no weapons or friends get involved.
 |
| School administrators act as judge, jury and executioner, and repeatedly, it's the victims who are penalised |
But here's the challenge in dealing with school bullying, and I really sympathise with the school administrators because it's incredibly tough. The challenge is that it's hard to work out who is bully and who is victim, and whether an incident is worthy of action, or if it should be left to kids to sort out for themselves. The bullies are cunning, the victims are often timid, and worse still, they are often interviewed in the same room at the same time. Can you imagine the police doing that to a rape victim and her attacker?
So it's difficult to work out who did what, so you throw your hands up and blame everyone? What an appalling way to dispense justice, and it's yet another example of why schools are so woefully ill-equipped to deal with bullying, and why kids don't trust schools enough to report bullying to them - because the schools are not toothless tigers; they're tigers that bite everybody!
Here's the real problem with zero tolerance - it hog-ties the law-abiding. Those students who care about the rules and school. I've seen it time and again. Kids who are bullied, fight back, are punished, then spend the rest of their school lives being bullied worse because they are afraid of the punishment the SCHOOL will mete out. How ridiculous is that? The school has become the bully!
 |
| This is what should be happening to bullies who use physical violence. Assault is a crime whatever age the perpetrator. |
Back to the case in question, the little guy was guilty of ASSAULT. He should be handed over to the police, and the case should be dealt with by professionals on that basis. But of course, the police are busy dealing with "real" crimes like catching speeders and stopping kids skateboarding on the sidewalks, so they don't want the extra workload. For some ridiculous reason, the most vulnerable people on this planet; the children, are treated with far less seriousness when it comes to violence. Assault is labelled bullying. Physical and verbal abuse is dismissed as kids being kids, or a rite of passage. And then, the kids are legally compelled, under threat of incarceration to them or their parents, to keep attending the place where they are abused. It's like telling a sexually abused boy that he must keep sitting on a priest's lap or else...
So many of the school systems on this planet are insane. That's quite obvious. Yes, they have a difficult job, but that's no reason to punish the victims of bullying. But I say to you, what I have always said to you - tell your kids to avoid the bullies if they can, do all that you can to resolve bullying using non-violent methods, but if it comes to it, and your child is cornered and about to be physically assaulted by a bully, your child needs to know that they have your permission; even your encouragement, to strike out hard and first if needs be, to defend their safety, or the safety of their friends and family.
Then it comes down to you to fight their case. Don't settle for summary judgements, on the spot suspensions, or even expulsions. Fight for them. Fight the school head teacher, fight the board of governors, take it to the police and the papers, take it to court or anywhere you need to, and don't stop until justice is achieved. Because your child has no choice about going into the lion's den, but you have a choice whether or not to support them wholeheartedly.
Addendum
On a closing note, if things are as black and white as they seem, and the case that started all this really was a small boy unwisely bullying a much larger kid and paying the price, I think he may have learned a valuable lesson. I don't agree with the many sick youtubers who seem to hope that the little guy received many broken bones. But what I really take massive exception to, is the way that this incident has been televised and replayed millions and millions of times across the world. Yes the bully appears to be a cocky little S.O.B, but I think that humiliating him across the entire globe is little more than bullying him by the adult world. It's another case of trial by media, with a summary judgement being made by people who don't know any of the surrounding facts.
Maybe the little guy was getting even for an earlier incident. Maybe he was the bigger brother or friend of someone the older kid bullied. You just don't know. I'm no bleeding heart liberal, and bullying should be punished, but we just don't know enough about this case to judge for sure.
If the younger kid turns up at the other guy's house with a gun and something to prove, the press and youtube will have to take their share of the blame. I don't defend bullying, but nor do I defend international humiliation of 12 year olds - whatever their crime.
Furthermore, I'm not sure that I like the idea of kids filming other kids AT SCHOOL, and then broadcasting that across the planet without the permission of everyone in front of the camera. This is exactly the behaviour that has taken bullying from a momentary event to an internationally televised spectator sport.
A note in support of schools
I realise that I am generalising about school handling of bullying. Teachers, if your school does not fit this profile then I am not talking about you, and I would be very interested to hear how your school deals with bullying to ensure that the guilty are identified and punished, whilst the victims are helped.
